I like your point that it does actually give people the outyouve put it in their minds that they can say Im busy., Its what I dothough I often try to say the thing first (Want to go to a movie? Me: Not much, maybe laundry or whatever. This is just a funny response to give because it is the opposite of what they had asked just you. Youve made such a long-term investment in your child already why put the future relationship at such risk? Then they can ask for details to make up their minds, or just shut you down with a no of preferred firmness if the event doesnt appeal. Im trying to train her out of the habit. Why, whatve you got? with a tone implying that weekends are always full of important adulting chores that I really dont want to do, but adults gotta adult, you know? Though I am at the point where if my coworker invites me to Toastmasters one more time, Im just going to cheerfully say, You know, I just dont see myself ever being interested in that. (Though I dont think its likely in this case since the last invitation went something like: Hey, if youre interested, Toastmasters is going to be at [X] time and Im going to be speaking, Great, have fun with that!, I know what that means.). BLah, I realized I didnt finish the thought, I suppose that before I started responding that way they thought I was sitting alone rocking back and forth in the dark.. 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses But thats always what those on the winning side of dominance relationships say. When I tell you Ill be meal planning this weekend thats not an invitation for you to tell me all of your diet ideas and which meals are healthier. The comment is sometimes a small talk, meant to affirm that we like seeing each other, and sometimes a prequel to an invitation. That, or non-questions. I completely agree that when it comes to a duty (like babysitting) this question is somewhat unfair. I also like the advice to just tell people I interact with regularly that I dont like that question. I think this is a lot clearer in other contexts. On the other hand, there are the problem/dominance-related ones: 1. If it doesnt work with my schedule, I will tell you. So when you talk about watching her leisure time and knowing how she spends it all, I hear a situation that would be psychologically unhealthy for a teenager, let alone someone in their mid-twenties. I think that with my previous friend group culture, a sorry, Im REALLY busy for the next few weeks gets taken personally as Im too busy to maintain our relationship, even though Im trying to, um, not be homeless? Baking a cake. Fine, thanks.. I think thats why it can sometimes be difficult to answer? If theyre just curious, they can say so, if they want to invite you to something, it gives them the chance, and if you feel like engaging further, you can. Not blond but like superwhite. I think one way of dealing with this is to explicitly put the hard invitation back in their court. I know its a big favor, but obviously I would pay you, and I have cable, high-speed internet, and a chocolate fountain with dark, milk, and bittersweet streams. Like, say you pretend to take up crochet, and designate working on my crochet projects/gifts as your backup plan, and so when people you know are assholes about this ask you have the backup plan. Its harder to say if someone doesnt do their fair share of emotional labor, or figuring out their fair share of chores if theyre not physically or mentally able to do the same amount as you. , Related the person who just assumes youre doing whatever theyve planned for you because its a family thing and youre family or I asked Z and they said you were free* or What else would you be doing? But then she would ask me to babysit her toddler. Its great! Indeed, I often hear it as an attempt to trap me into doing something. If that's not a good enough answer for them, walk away, because there's nothing more you can say. (beaming smile) (speaking a bit slowly) So you go on (big cheery gesture) on your own because youre interrupting our discussion time.. I too have found that nobody seems offended if I respond with a cheerful: Why? Without answering their question at all. interactions that I think stand a significant chance of blowing up in peoples faces. She's asking because she's interested in your plans specifically. hours of 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday because it will make you seem like you don't have anything better to do on the weekend. I think its interesting how LW is talking about what seems to me to be a specific social paradigm/situation that a lot of the commentators do not share? Flip the question back to them. The genered expectations in our family are much more of the women do the planning variety which can get super annoying when wed like to just go along for the ride every once in a while. And I try to be easier on myself for not having more exciting weekend plans. This is probably part of why I am frustrated by this conversation, because by most conventional social norms, you are actually doing nothing wrong. Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* I like the fact that at my workplace, anything of that sort gets a polite reminder to all that US citizens come in accents of infinite variety, and its rude to imply that people arent from here in the same way that others are over something like an accent. But its also true I can (usually) reorganize my schedule enough to accommodate plans I want to attend. He would intentionally just hint around until they offered. Text N Girls Pua Game PDF | PDF | Text Messaging | Guru - Scribd Are you asking where are you from of every person you meet the first time, or only of those whose appearance/accent makes you suspect they are not from your locality? With some people, though, perfect honesty might be the best solution if you expect them to follow you closely in social media: Uh oh, that week is really busy and I am going to be very tired and stressed in [time]. Take care of your boundaries! Most of those projects and research were for fanfiction. Giving my notebook a bath. Message Example #6: ( Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like Match, OkCupid or POF. Specific questions and order thereof arent quite the point. [I often go in around lunch time.] Culture or not, Im very sympathetic to people who have a hard time saying no, since that used to be me. Unhelpful? I understand how it can be othering and I never ask anyone where theyre from first. Born and raised in the US, and I also think this is a weird question not to answer literally. Developed with the most common customer inquiries in mind, these responses give customer service reps the power to represent your brand with uniformity, accuracy, and speed. Since "doing" is an action verb, we need to use the adverb "well" to describe that action. 3. I dont find it weird, I think its just whiteness and the safest thing to do is presume white people are going to be like this to some extent, until they prove otherwise. And Im totally ok with that. For a close friend, you could answer more literally. Also: owning that I dont always have to say yes Im getting there! I understand that theyre just trying to be friendly and make small talk but it still feels invasive. Well, here's that question again: do you know what you want to do with your life or are you still trying to figure it out? (This one will definitely keep them guessing.) What about you?. If you follow through with people you actually want to see (as in, Can I let you know tomorrow? = You actually let them know one way or another tomorrow), you arent being a jerk by not responding immediately to their questions or invitations, and you dont owe a full accounting of your time. WHAT WILL YOU DO AT THE WEEKEND?? Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course. Texting or sending an email to someone. There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. I think this is an expected thing for women to do. I have friends who do that, along with a SIL, and I also find it stressful/annoying. In my experience small-talking cashiers/customer service people, giving them an opening to chat is the surest way to get out of having to fill the conversation myself. That would create some damage. *Both of which are also used as shorthand for all the things you need to get done before you can do the thing you actually intend to do, which is often an accurate description of my evenings. Read. So the question layers, starting with are you free Saturday? Are a strategy Ive used to hopefully take the pressure off other people. So if you say Im probably going to that new movie, they dont ask and youre not put on the spot. I personally feel really pressured by the question simply because it puts me in the position of having to say yes or no before I even know what Im saying yes or no to. Person A: Im fine. This isnt a high-stakes issue like the LW that was abusing their partner. Every girl loves the rebel without a cause. No, seriously, TheDukeDevlin has the correct answer. #1078: "Sooooooowhat are you doing this weekend?" I kind of like your signature line as a response! So whats the fallout if I tell her I need her help with something, and she refuses without a good reason (because she wants to play Minecraft or listen to a podcast)? Me: Yeah, Ive got some stuff I have to get done. Funny Ways to Respond to "How Are You?" Overworked and underpaid. How are you? Its clearly related to the other ones, not just random strangers. Kind of a random revelation after reading everyones advice and responses: I think this is up for me right now because Im new to the online dating world and, because of my past experience with my family, I am having a hard time telling if the question is of the innocuous kind (like when co-workers ask my plans for the weekend), a soft opening to trying to ask me out, or the kind of manipulation that Ive, for better or for worse, learned to be on alert for. I am on the spectrum, so I would anxiety-spiral about whether, once again, I missed a basic social skill everyone else learned in kindergarten. after reading a ton of CAs archives I feel comfortable telling people, Im up to nothing both Saturday and Sunday, and I CANNOT WAIT. Bye. I also (insert similar hobby or interest). Why do you ask? is my go-to response as well. In fact this letter reminds me a lot of a lady I knew once who moved to the US from a different english-speaking country and took offense to people asking her where she was from when they heard her accent. My response if Im up for it is Looking like a fun one, but did you have something in mind? If Im probably not up for it I say All the things! In my case its also true (OH is much better at executive function than me). Hed ask me what Im doing for the weekend and when i started to tell him a selection of my actual plans hed cut me off while I was talking to make fun of how boring or lame I am or some other stupid comment. But sometimes that comes across as I just dont want to, and thats pretty hurtful. We cheerfully said we were free, assuming there was going to some festive get together and wanting to make friends. Instead we got stuck attending an MLM pitch. So, it's perfectly . Always always have a plan I forgot about until next day. So setting a rent that I would for any other adult is simply not applicable. Its the same here. N- New adventure. Okay, how would that be couched in terms of a lease you would give to another renter? As I stated above, it can even affect quality of healthcare and employment opportunities. If you want to push them to just say why they want to know, ask. Its an opener, like Hot enough for you? Or How about that sportsquad at the sportsmatch? The content of your answer is secondary to the dynamic of conversation. Other Half keeps the diary, I need to check.. I want collaborators, not pupils. This way, you are always busy when those people ask. (this one may not be my wheelhouse anyway, no translation needed. But then again, Im always the person who answers strangers who say Are you X person with Who wants to know?. Umm.pardon me, I wasn't listening. 1. We need to have lunch soon. Okay, then invite me, and dont hint for an invitation. That doesnt make it okay. I would say something like:"what have you done with yours so that i can learn what to do or avoid.". Mother likes to trap me. Oh god then you might need to find less-jerky friends, probably. But people should take turns is different from someone else should always go first (or for gendered/other status reasons, I should always go first).