Its where we park the helicopters.. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess" He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. 13:30 comes and goes. Sometime later, when the examination was Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment. It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. During a combat medical training class, the topic was blast injuries. The Blonde Fighter Pilot USAF Manual It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area you have just bombed, 6. 9. Gary Toohard. Unfortunately for him, our lecturer caught him. When I heard him describe the impending birth of his first child as when the baby has boots on the ground.. When I was a Navy student pilot, I visited the home of a classmate. Our instructor approached the directionally challenged Marine and stomped on his left foot. In the 50s, I was a clerk typist at our base headquarters in Verdun, France. Why doesnt the Army football team have a website? Here are some favorites from rallypoint.com: Kassidy Barber is the Assistant Editor for VeteranLife.com and MyBaseGuide.com. Pizza de Resistance 44. Dear Soldier, If youre having a rough day, remember the most important thing in life is to be yourself. 1. What did you do? Thanks.. "Last one off the plane has to clean it", 25. Fighter Training Manual Airspeed, Altitude, and Brains Two are always needed to successfully complete a flight, 7. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have, 16. 'There are bold pilots, and old pilots, but very few old bold pilots.' - 1930s Army Air Corps Sign. However, one day he came into the room whistling with a smile on his face. Everyone seemed OK with this order except for one confused recruit. The Soldier agreed, and when the Marine went to get his drink he started spitting in the Marines boots. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. You had tents?, A drill sergeant yells at his young trainee, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning, private!, The private replies, Well, thank you very much, sir., A general gets stuck in his Jeep on the side of the road. Caller: Is Sgt. 41. Now, I was shy of six feet tall, but when our drill sergeant called for all six-footers to line up, I stepped forward anyway. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? Discover a funny military joke about the U.S. Army with this list. Corporal Wabo is a former Infantry Squad Leader with 3rd Bn 4th Marines that specialized in Mortars. It does look like its been fished out from the bottom of the sea.. and some others fell to the ground quickly and did their push-ups. While on maneuvers in the Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. Fish Food. 10. Thats my wifes breast pump.. This program is designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon. Soldier: WTF, you had air conditioners? Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. He snapped off a salute and responded, I dont know, sir! Turning to the sergeant, he asked, Gunnery, where is my foxhole? Why doesnt the Army team have ice on the sidelines during football games? Ummm no, youre good, he mumbled. Looking for military boot camp jokes? Everything from puns to some sarcastic one-liners are included in the Army jokes below to crack on an Army member you know and love. Mother, as you know, I, too, am a captain in the Air Force. What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? Why arent there any insects in an Army base? Military jokes! If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to military_jokes@strategyworld.com. Rodrigues there? Collective Military Hardships One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment.
Jokes Archives - Aviation Humor Katees passion for writing and fascination for language has forever guided her path in life. !" Marine: "Wait, stop. I met his wife and baby and was impressed that he had all his flight gear neatly laid out on a table. However, even with full power, the little plane could not handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. "OK Suzy" said the teacher, "please tell the class your. Chicago. Discover the best military jokes with this expansive list that covers some old ones and some new ones to brighten your smile. The other Sergeants noticed that he looked more relaxed than ever. Can You Name All 8 United States Uniformed Services? Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. But before I could get out, he pointed to the other end of the building and said, The band entrance is that way. Gordon Van Otteren. Military 3. Browse the list below to find a funny joke to tell one of your buddies. I thought I was on top of my game that day, Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number. 15. ! Again, no reply. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one.". The Marines will kill everyone inside and then set up headquarters. 16. Its a NO FLY zone! My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. I asked an employee whether they still carried my deodorant. A military aircraft had gear problems on landing, and as the plane was skidding down the tarmac the tower controller asked if they needed assistance. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. Do you know where the sensor is located? my My husband is infantry, and he said the most wonderful things to convince me to marry him: The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. They want their patients to see 20:20! One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. A drill serGENTLEMEN! He would never get on my nerves, because he would always be gone. Sidling right up to the student, the speaker shouted in his ear, What would you do for a patient in the event of a nuclear war? His reply was quick and to the point: You didnt.. Halt! shouted our drill instructor. Dont think so? (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan). Upon the Vietnam war's conclusion a lot of money was invested in creating the next class of aircraft. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. Airman: "The worst was when the air conditioner broke in our tent and it was 110 degrees outside!" Soldier: "No way, you guys had air conditioners? As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. You had tents?, USAF: Birds A lot of the jokes on this list I heard while I was in the Marines, but I want to give credit to our friends at ralleypoint.com and unijokes.com. How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb? Takeoffs are optional. Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind. In college, my freshman-year roommate was in ROTC and came from a long line of military men. Since it was a formal affair at a country club, I went in my officers dress blue uniform. The Air Force will take out a five-year lease with an option to buy at the end. He replied, When they stopped shooting at me.. While in Kuwait, shortly before we deployed to Iraq, a major general told our meeting that we should expect to cross into Iraq in less than 24 hours. He then My gunnery sergeant and I were inspecting a Marine training exercise when we spotted a second lieutenant ambling about. Reply: This is a lighthouse your call.. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite, 15. He snapped off a Halt! shouted our drill instructor. P | Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. The other replied, Not me! Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Waxing his plane A pilot got up bright and early, and told his wife he was going to wash and wax his plane. P | Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. Reply: No, I say again. It was World War IIthe frontand we were on high alert. U.S. Navy Warship: We are a large warship of the United States Navy. You might be in the Coast Guard if you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. The reason? While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. I smiled and said, Sure was a lot of em, huh sir?. I heard this one from my basic training company commander.
'I could see the bones in my hands.' F-84 pilot tells the story of when The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around the drone but not hitting it. So, instead, they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. It took the poor guy all day. 100+ WW2 Trivia Questions For HistoryBuffs, 17 Military Personnel Talk About The Creepiest Thing Theyve Seen OnDuty, 100+ Scary Stories to Read in the Dark to Leave You With Chills[2021], A Writers Diary Entries From Mid-April,1986, 30 Spooky Paranormal Stories From Former MilitaryPersonnel, You might be in the Coast Guard if people have looked at you and said, The Coast Guard is part of the military?, You might be in the Coast Guard if your child points to the ship and says, Thats where my parent lives!, You might be a Coastie if you head an HH-65 and. They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Picking up some unidentifiable gear, I said, I didnt get one of these! The Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the doors. March forth! ", The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husbands first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. Our puns and jokes are here for the soldiers as well as everyone else to enjoy. How different military branches use the stars: The U.S. Army sleeps beneath the stars. He did his daredevil tricks over, and over again, but still not a word. 8. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. 4. Each branch has its own traditional jokes that have caused a lot of laughing for many years. I dont see it.. "It took us a while to find a new pilot." Why did the airplane get sent to his room? Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. There was bound to be trouble, and I was right, because suddenly, he fell silenteyebrows arched, brain overloaded. Two sailors were discussing which assignments theyd like to get.
Funny Military Jokes | Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps - VetFriends Joke #1 Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. Either way, it is a simple gesture that will be sure to get a grin. 6, 2 to cheer, 2 to fire the weapon and 2 to take pictures! And )second Dear Veterans, You rock more than AC/DC or Metallica or Red Hot Chili Peppers. Thanks for coming back for me, the airman said, jumping on the back of the scooter. Why was the sergeant made when his son brought home an A in math? Killed bin Laden. 3. Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the base operator asked him. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. 49. A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! When a Navy fighter pilot saw this, he decided to approach the man and see what he was doing. Soldier: No way, you guys had air conditioners? Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. Did you hear about the big accident on base? The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. Caller: Sgt. They are the ones protecting us at all times from external threats. Shotgun: Comparison for a First-Time Gun Buyer, What Are The Basic Parts Of Ammunition? There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane, 20. One day, I was told As part of my Naval Reserve requirements at Emory University Dental School, I attended a talk about proper dental procedures following nuclear warfare. The Pentagon announced that its fight against ISIS will be called Operation Inherent Resolve. Soldier: No, SIR!. Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor. What did the Coastie say when his friends asked why he was getting married? Connors eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, You used to be a bear?. Ask the Marines to secure a building and they will charge in, kill everybody inside, and then set up defenses to make sure nobody gets in. St. I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. The tenant shook her head.
30+ Best Military Jokes And Puns | Kidadl Evidently, one of my classmates found the talk less than stimulating and fell asleep. The Marine said Are you crazy? Divert your course NOW! Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. 4. 64. As for the rest of you, get down and give me 40 for lying!.
100 Hilarious Airplane Jokes That Are Surely to Take Off 55+ Best Pilot Jokes That Fly | Kidadl A Flight Attendant's comment after a less than perfect landing; We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal, 17. Two Army second lieutenants started debating over certain distances. An officer asked if I knew what it meant. Do you want to hear about my plane?. 5. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Two hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. Warren and his wife Joy went to the local Air Show every year, and every year Joy would say, "Warren, I'd like to ride in that helicopter. After a long pause, he thundered, The alphabet?!. My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. Dad got quiet.
S | Engine found on right wing after brief search. If you want it any closer than that, youll have to bite em off from the inside..
Aviation Humor - F-16.net - The ultimate F-16, F-22, F-35 reference Yes, said the lieutenant. What do you call someone who joined the military out of spite? Scan the list below to find some hilarious military one-liners that will make your Navy friend laugh like crazy. Its got to be the Air Force because theyre U.S. AF! ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". 17.
Military jokes - Pinterest What do you call a snail that boards a Navy ship? It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, Where are you from? St.
Our Teams Favorite Pilot Jokes - AOPA Hotel/Car Rental Shuttle Bus Vehicle subject to paranormal effects. This site contains affiliate links. Black said he jokes about getting a sense of what America thinks about its military by the movies that come out, and the only decent military movie in recent years, in his opinion, was "Top Gun . Yes, she said. Why Do We Celebrate It? I am so happy you are risking your life for the USA! My granddaughters husband was complaining about how spellcheck changes the meaning of e-mails when an Air Force officer told him this story: Hed sent a message to 300 of his My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas.