Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. . MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. I really hope you have a search warrant. MISS TRUNCHBULL Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? . MRS WORMWOOD Look at these trophies. Don't take me to Chokey! Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. Then get out of town. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. I can be a soldier. . The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? MR WORMWOOD Gloria Magitum! Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, Jenny: Well, here I am. Miss Honey: And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, Very supple. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Who you been talking to? Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . A little less head, a lot more derriere. Thank you for suggesting it. MATILDA Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. The Wormwoods laugh. [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. MRS PHELPS MATILDA MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. . Oh, very rich. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. Matilda: Agatha Trunchbull: Two, three, four. I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". There's nothing to fear. To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. . MISS HONEY MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Calculate this! Look at this. RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. I don't want another one. MATILDA Jenny: My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. Well I had to take a shower, Harry! Matilda: And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. Okay. Oh, let's put it this way. And so you think you're A-ble What am doing here? My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. FBI Agent Bob: How can I make up my own pickup line? . [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] . Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! Yes, sir. You should be embarrassed. NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. MATILDA . <> MATILDA Me, me, me, me. Yes. Two times . The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. endobj Agatha Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Agatha Trunchbull: Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. . Stop! 140 Pickup lines ideas | pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy MATILDA [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] Dosvedoo-dah. One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. With an owchie . [to his partner] The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! Agatha Trunchbull: 125 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines (Plus, Bumble Pick Up Lines) - Parade There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . Harry Wormwood: Jenny: You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! CHILDREN google_color_text="5F6A72"; Ooh, me, me, me, miss! Just write. <> A shrimp. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. And I'm very sorry . Jane Eyre . Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] Harry Wormwood: Mr Wormwood! MISS TRUNCHBULL The chances of existence almost infinitely small. He always wears suits with loud plaid prints read analysis of Mr. Wormwood. MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Honey: Ow! The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. You'd better hide! Ahh! And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. I love your stories, Matilda! . She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] Someone told her I did it, but I never! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. So give me more cake! MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. Zinnia Wormwood: No one's going to look if you don't stand out. This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! . Rudolpho! MATILDA The Invisible Man . [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Jenny : Quite the contrary. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! Crowd! 4 0 obj Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. "Right"? MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! MISS HONEY MISS HONEY //-->. This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! Look! I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. Shut up! 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. 107+ Best Pick Up Lines for Flirting [Cute, Cheesy, Funny] Agatha Trunchbull: You wouldn't beat them in a race! Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. Am I wrong? Go on, then! So you're Wormwood, are you? She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . . Miss Honey: Now, look. Your hair! Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. . You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. I shall pound you. BRUCE Agatha Trunchbull: His whatchamacallit. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. Narrator: MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST BIG KIDS You useless, used-car-salesman scum! Good show. in . Looks like rain. A poem? What am I? "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". The gate rolls away. I think you'll want your trousers loose. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? Of course I am. They never stood a chance. What? Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: But she is a squib. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah They're individual! It's just that they want that child so very much. MR WORMWOOD Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? It's the mileage. I'm not guilty! MISS HONEY BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. CHILDREN [noticing her books] I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. We all get carried away sometimes. And yet every single life, That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . CHILDREN BRUCE Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? MRS WORMWOOD What? Just get on your feet, Jenny. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. I stole the cake. Yes! stream My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". Hide me! The scene changes to the library. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. What do you want, Miss Chutney? MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD (Bruce!) . Neigh! MISS HONEY BIG KID [TAMIKA] MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. . Ten! Please! A few! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] Michael: Restores my faith in human kind. 75 Best Smooth Pick Up Lines - Use these to make her smile. - Mantelligence Oh, it's Miss Honey. This boy's got no fingie. That lady? CHILDREN 1 What? . The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. 100 Best Nerdy Pick Up Lines | Reader's Digest Matilda (1996) - Quotes - IMDb That's the main thing. Do I allow pigs in my school? MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Matilda Character Analysis | LitCharts Yes. 4. Agatha, This is Magnus. Let alone getting the conversation going! If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Trunchbull: Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? But this little girl . No. Harry Wormwood: Kim . [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] have you read a whole book? Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? Past Alice. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. Sell me a lemon? [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] Just knock on the door. Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. Bruce! That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives. It's just pathetic! A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. You You didn't like the chokey, did you? Oh, no, Matilda. Yes, wonderful. Does that mean I can get that new TV? To fetch a pail of water. Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. [turns to Michael] Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Okay! RUDOLPHO CHILDREN If I let this little girl fall? . Come stai? LAVENDER 21. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Matilda: It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. MATILDA Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. MRS PHELPS That's the bananas right there. Did you hear what we said? I'll tell you something. You've never set foot in a library. No excuse, Bruce. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. All right. MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. . Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! I believe that . Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. Are you going to tell me a story or not? MR WORMWOOD Why don't you run away? Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. MRS WORMWOOD This one was mine. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. She found a small cottage. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. Absolutely, sir! Go fig-ueur! Has my daddy told ya What do you want a book for? In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. I am off to bleach my roots . No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. MATILDA "thinking". Glad I never was one. That's not fair at all! Smile for mother! You haven't got time for "but". You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. NIGEL 22 Best Matilda quotes ideas | matilda quotes, matilda, quotes DOCTOR Trunchbull: [turns and sees Harry's hair] Harry Wormwood: AAAHH! Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. Well, then stop her reading! That's it! The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. . Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA Just knock on the door . 2. One look at my face and it's plain to see. MISS TRUNCHBULL "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. MR WORMWOOD The endings are often a little bit gory! I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! But if I try I can remember, Zinnia Wormwood: That was only the first part of your punishment. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. MATILDA I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. Special guest towards the end. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . [His stomach growls.] . Try to be funny, or clever, or both! They're the bane of my life. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. The guy with the stupid haircut! The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. To stand up and be proud! He got a C on his report! Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. More than one. It's the female minor. Yes! CHILDREN What we all suspected. Sixteen times two is thirty-two. COUPLE 1 Not a dot did I stray from the plot. Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. . MRS WORMWOOD BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. And remember to be eXtremely careful. It was like the entire world went silent for that And . Yes! MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. FBI Agent Bob: I'd love to meet her, actually . A spotlight searches the theater. It's just a door. . The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. . 35 Inspirational Matilda Quotes From Roald Dahl's Timeless Tale ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE